The web series, which is currently in development at Captain Canuck, Inc. alongside their animation partner Smiley Guy Studios, already has the central characters in place and is currently running a campaign on the crowd source funding site Indiegogo.  The cast, thus far, includes Kris Holden-Ried (Lost Girl) as the voice of the hero, Captain Canuck with Paul Amos (Lost Girl) lending his voice to that of Captain Canuck’s arch-nemesis, Mister Gold.  Laura Vandervoort (Smallville) is the latest talent to come on board, lending her talent to the mysterious character of Blue Fox.

As far as the cast goes, I really think they nailed it.  I don’t have any previous knowledge about the main character or the villains, but casting Kris Holden-Ried as the hero is really a perfect fit what with his silky baritone voice.  Paul Amos being cast as the villain is also spot on.  That’s not saying Paul Amos has an evil voice, but he’s so delicious as Vex in Lost Girl and let’s face it….Vex can be kind of evil…in the most charming way of course.  I know Vandervoort from her stint on Haven, and she seems to be a bit of a spit-fire and I can totally picture her as a character shrouded in mystery.

If you’re not familiar with Captain Canuck, click the images below view the character bios:

 The crowd source funding option is becoming more and more common these days and gives the fans an opportunity to help certain project see the light of day.  I really like this idea and have contributed to a few myself (this one included).  Fans can contribute at different levels, and each level provides the contributor certain perks.  Which to be honest, I think is pretty darn cool.

This is the age of the comic book character and goodness knows that the movie industry is being flooded by the different Marvel and DC characters.  Here in America, we have Captain America (among others).  I’ll be honest and say that I hadn’t heard of Captain Canuck before this, but I like the idea that Canada’s got their very own superhero, and that he’s making the move from page to screen.  I think every country should have their own superhero and would love to see them all come together as a sort of Superhero UN, but that’s a post for another time.  Animated versions have done quite well over the years and I think, if given the chance, this one will do quite well also.  Plus, I really like the look of the character.  The revamp that Toronto based comic book artist Kalman Andrasofsky has created, has the look of a present-day hero, while also keeping a classic look as well.

The Captain Canuck campaign has only 6 days left before it closes and is currently sitting at about 70% of the intended goal.  Comic fans should definitely check out the campaign page and take a look at all the perks it has to offer. While you’re there, feel free to lend a helping hand.  The good Captain would be thankful I’m sure.

To learn more about Captain Canuck, be sure to check out the official website.  Also, be sure to take a look at the Captain Canuck: The Animated Web Series campaign page over on Indiegogo.

Captain Canuck from Sam Chou on Vimeo.

With all of these revelations, this season has proven to be one for the books.  I honestly can’t really think of a poor episode.  Aside from the whole Theon thing that’s going on, the rest of the season has been stellar and this latest episode is no exception.  That being said, we now have a two-week wait until the ninth episode of the season.  Thinking back, it’s the ninth episode that leaves viewers speechless.  The ninth episode of the first season dealt with Ned’s demise and the ninth episode of the second season was the incredible battle of Blackwater Bay.  I can’t even speculate on what’s to come.

Re-evaluating Perceptions

The one thing that this show does is challenge the perceptions the viewer has of its characters.  As viewers, opinions have shifted with the evolution of the characters, but it also happens within the show itself.  Arya found herself rethinking her opinion of someone who she included in her death prayer every night. Last week left off with Arya, upset with the Brotherhood for giving up Gendry as well as the detour the group planned to take, running off into the night on her own and getting nabbed by Sandor Clegane, who still happened to be lurking about.

Waking up before the Hound, Arya grabbed a large rock meaning to smash his head in with it.  She did, after all, wish for his death every night.  However, the Hound is on to her and encourages her to give it a shot, but tells her he’ll break her hands if she fails.   Arya played it smart and chose the high road, which turned out to be in her favor.  Thinking he was taking her back to King’s Landing, the Hound set her straight and told her that he’s actually taking her to the Twins, where Robb and Catelyn will be.  Further challenging her perceptions of him, the Hound also tells her stories of his time in King’s Landing and how he saved Sansa and even went back for her.  His stories aren’t enough for Arya to drop her guard, but she considers her companion a bit differently now.

The Second Sons

At first, I was wondering just what this episode’s title was referring to.  They do manage to refer to several different things happening in the episode and while this title could refer to Tyrion, Stannis, etc, I imagine it mainly refers to the trio of mercenaries that Daenerys had the pleasure of meeting.  They do go by the name The Second Sons after all.  After watching the Second Sons pull in to Yunkai, Selmy and Jorah inform Daenerys that they are an army of sellswords who are a force to be reckoned with.  Dany blows off the warning however, and sends an invite for their leaders to meet with her.  Three arrive; two Captains, and a Lieutenant.  Even though they claim to be free to do what they want, the true leader seems to be the Titan’s Bastard himself.  He’s a chauvinistic pig who couldn’t be any more foul that what he was.  Dany however, keeps her cool and presents her offer for them to fight for her, and gives them two days to decide before she sics her Unsullied on them.

Back at their camp, the three men continue in their piggish ways, and draw straws, well…a coin actually, to see which of them will sneak into her camp to kill her.  The Lieutenant, Daario Naharis, draws the coin destined to do the deed and he seems quite pleased.  While Dany is bathing and discussing the finer points of speaking Dothraki with Missandei, Darrio Naharis enters the tent and presents Dany with a gift: the head’s of the two captains.  Thank the Seven too because I don’t think I could have handled the Titan’s bastard’s comments and ass grabbing much longer.  Darrio swears his sword, life and love to Dany and I have to wonder where this is going.  Could he end up being something more?  If so, I don’t think Jorah is going to like that very much at all.  Speaking of Jorah, he’s kind of taken a back seat to Selmy lately because it seems like she’s relying more on Selmy’s counsel that Jorah’s.  Interesting.  I hope this doesn’t mean less screen time for Ian Glenn.  Because that is not OK.

A Lannister Wedding

Sansa’s wedding day has finally approached, even though it’s not the wedding she thought she’d have.  In a tender moment between Sansa and Tyrion prior to the ceremony, Tyrion tries to ease her fears telling her he will never hurt her.  During the ceremony, Joffrey gets his kicks in by taking away Tyrion’s step stool which made my hated level up.  As humiliating as the ceremony was, the reception wasn’t much better.  Tyrion ties one on in a big way, but luckily gets out of the time-honored tradition of being stripped down and carried to the bedchamber by the guests.  The highlight was Tyrion threatening Joffrey in a scene that actually made me laugh out loud.

Meanwhile, before the festivities, Cersei, makes a veiled threat to Margaery, but then sulks about the reception and completely blows off Loras when he tries to talk to her.  The highlight of the entire reception scene however would be when Lady Olenna proceeds to run down how the new Tyrell family tree will work out once Loras and Margaery are both wedded to their respective spouses to be.

Back in their chambers, Tyrion mentions that his Lord Father commanded him to consummate the marriage and Sansa reluctantly begins to undress.  It’s all very uncomfortable, especially when she responds to Tyrion’s question about her age, telling him that she’s 14.  Sophie Turner by no means looks 14, and I tend to forget how young the character truly is.  Tyrion tells her to stop and that he won’t be sharing her bed, much to her relief.  Much to Shae’s relief too when she notices non-soiled sheets and gives Tyrion an approving look as she pulls them from the bed and takes them away.

A King’s Blood Holds Power

While Arya deals with the Hound, her other half (as I like to refer to him) is still in the company of Melisandre.  Finally back on the shores of Dragonstone, he’s introduced to Uncle Stannis and is shown to his chambers. Stannis knows what Melisandre has in store for poor Gendry and doesn’t really want to sacrifice him, but tells Melisandre to just get it over with.  From there, Stannis pays the Onion Knight a visit in the dungeon and tells Davos that he’s going to be freed.  They discuss the situation with Gendry, and as usual, Davos expresses his opinion, knowing that’s exactly why Stannis came to see him.

Meanwhile, in his chambers, Gendry is understandably apprehensive about the whole thing, wondering when the carpet will be pulled from beneath his feet.  Melisandre enters and tries to put his fears at ease, telling him again that his blood holds power.  She wines him and dines him, then drops her robe and prepares him for sexy sexy time.  Poor Gendry, he never had a chance.  Once he’s bound to the bed, Melisandre breaks out the big guns…or in this case, the leeches and places three of them on Gendry’s body.  Stannis enters, Melisandre pulls the leeches from Gendry’s body, and Stannis throws each one in the fire.  One for the usurper Robb Stark, one for the usurper, Balon Greyjoy, and one for the usurper Joffrey Baratheon.  None of that is good news.  NONE OF IT!

The Birds

Sam and Gilly are still on the run in the North.  They come upon a burnt out shack where they decide to camp for the night.  A lone crow perches in the weirswood tree and caws relentlessly while Sam tries unsuccessfully to light a fire.  Gilly finally gets the fire lit, and the two sit and discuss baby names.  Their conversation is interrupted by a ruckus outside and when Sam goes to investigate, he finds the wierwood tree packed with birds, and an Other approaching.  Sam tells Gilly to stay inside, and she’s convinced the Other is coming for her baby.  Sam grabs a sword, but is no match for the Other and is cast aside like an old newspaper.  In an effort to protect Gilly and the baby, Sam grabs the obsidian dagger he found and stabs the Other in the back.  The Other pulls his best T-1000-getting-doused-with-liquid-nitrogen impression and is destroyed.  Seeing this as an opportunity, Sam grabs Gilly and flees…..LEAVING HIS DAGGER BEHIND.  You don’t leave the only weapon that will kill these things behind.  You just don’t.  Ugh….c’mon Sam!

So now the long two-week wait until the penultimate episode.  After that whole leech burning scene, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread linger.  I mean, I really don’t care if anything happens to Joffrey.  I want him to die a painful, wretched death, but then who would I hate on?  Cut off the head of the beast and another grows in its place right?  Anyway, the last two episodes of the season are surely going to be amazing and I can’t help but think that the finale will end in a brutal cliffhanger the likes of which we haven’t seen since the world wondered about who shot J.R.

PS

Can I mention how sad I was that there was no Jamie and Brienne this week?

I was wondering if and when the announcement would come regarding a third season and word finally came this past weekend.  There will definitely be a season three.  I’ll stick around and see what happens, especially knowing how this season ended.  This episode was better than previous episodes so at least the season bowed on a higher than normal note.  However, I am a bit disappointed that Neal is not, in fact, Peter Pan.

Neverland

After being rescued from the waters in Neverland by Captain Hook, Bae finds himself being mentored by the crotchety captain.  Hook’s plan to avenge Mira’s death by killing Rumpelstiltskin seems to have been sweetened knowing that Bae is Rumpelstiltskin’s son.  The lost boys show up, knowing that Hook has a child on board, and they aim to take him to the “Shadow”, but Hook denies having anyone aside from him crew on board.  Once the lost boys leave, Bae opens up to Hook about being abandoned by his father, who happens to be the Dark One, and unknowingly gives Hook all the information he’s looking for.

As time passes, Hook grows fond of the boy, much to the dismay of Smee, who tries to convince Hook to cut the boy loose.  Hook won’t hear of it however.  Bae seems to have a found a place he belongs, that is until he finds a hand drawn portrait of his mother in Hook’s quarters.  Hook comes clean about what happened and how he and Mira were in love and had talked about going back to get Bae when he was older.  Bae only hears that his mother left him too.  Too late to cry over things though, as the lost boys arrive to finally claim Bae for themselves.  They load him up into their boat, while Hook looks on.

Once the lost boys get Bae to shore, the leader asks another boy if Bae is the one they’re looking for.  The other boy says no, and shows the leader a picture.  The boy they’re in search of happens to be Henry.  When asked if they’ll ever find him, the leader simply responds saying “Peter Pan never fails.”

Storybrooke

The bulk of the episode takes place in Storybrooke, as it should.  What with Tamara and Greg taking a pick axe to the trigger, which activates it.  So begins the destruction of Storybrooke.  Destruction being that vines and trees begin to cover the town.  Meanwhile, Regina hugs Henry close when Henry is informed that since he was born in that world, he’ll survive, but he’ll be alone.  Rumpelstiltskin, setting his quest for revenge aside, suggests they get to work on fixing the issue at hand and Hook joins the cause saying he can help.

At Gold’s shop, Leroy and boys are rummaging around looking for the potion that will fix Sneezy’s memory.  They inform Gold that Mother Superior was able to do it and tell Gold how.  This gives him an idea about Belle/Lacey, but doesn’t want to “wake” her up, just so they can all die but he’s moved by the gesture regardless.  Later on, while sharing a drink with Lacey, he pours the potion into both of their cups and they drink.  After a blue aura appears, she’s Belle once again.  Their little reunion was actually quite touching.  But I’m still tired of those two.

Down in the tunnels, Regina and Emma try to find a way to stop the self destruct jewel and Regina does the noble thing by using her power to hold off the inevitable.  The catch? It’s a one way ticket.  Back at Granny’s, Hook and David arrive with the last of the beans.  Henry doesn’t like the thought of Regina being left behind and mentions the wraith.  Mary Margaret hatches a plan to open a portal and send the evil jewel through, which will save the town, but Emma is unsure.  Mary Margaret pulls the ‘mom’ card and Emma has no choice but to go along with it.

After getting back down into the tunnels, they tell Regina the plan, not like she can really help at the moment, when Emma finds that the pouch is empty.  That scoundrel Hook made off with the bean.  The ground shakes some more and everyone hugs each other close.  Henry runs to Regina and hugs her tightly as well.  Meanwhile, Hook is sailing far away from Storybrooke with the bean.

Regina warns that she can’t hold out much longer, but Emma says that maybe she can help.  The two of them together are able to deactivate the switch, and the town is saved.  There is one minor problem however; Henry is gone.

Turns out that Greg and Tamara swiped him in the heat of the action because even though they set out to destroy magic, Henry is more valuable.  At the docks, Greg tosses a bean into the water, which of course opens a portal, where he and Tamara jump in, dragging Henry with them.

Emma & Co. get to the docks too late.  However on the horizon is the Jolly Roger and it’s headed their way.  Seems that Hook had a change of heart.  He, along with Mary Margaret, David, Emma, Regina and Gold plan to use the bean Hook stole to go find Henry.  Gold says his goodbye’s to Belle, leaving her with a cloaking spell that will blanket the town.  Once away, Gold tracks Henry to Neverland, they open the portal and ship disappears.

Meanwhile, on a beach in Fairytale Land, Neal is found by Prince Phillip, Aurora and Mulan, unconscious on a beach.

So there you have it.  Season two is officially in the books.  How did you feel about this season overall?  Happy, sad, indifferent?  Like I said, to me it was uneven, but I’ll stick around just to see where it goes.  Hopefully they’ll scale back on a lot of the side stories and stick with the meat that makes it good.  I guess we’ll have to wait until fall to find out.

Jon and the Free Folk

That’s actually a great name for a band.  Given the amount of animosity and drama that Jon has had to deal with since he joined the wildings, it could very well be a band.  Now that they’re on the south side of the Wall, officially in Jon’s ‘hood, he kills time by answering the plethora of questions that Ygritte has about life on the other side.  Of course he knows nothing and when told that armies march into battle with banners and drums, she responds to the idea  in a way that makes you realize just how silly it is.  Jon tries to impart the honor in such as act, but it’s completely lost on the girl from the north.  He does tell her that the Wildings have attacked six times and have lost each time and tries to convince her that this time will be no different.  The conversation however, falls on deaf ears.  All kidding aside, Tormund seems to be the jokester of the group, but Orell on the other hand….he’s got some jealousy issues.  When Jon confronts him about cutting them loose on their climb, Orell simply tells Jon that he cut Ygritte loose as well and she’s not complaining.  Orell has a thing for Ygritte, but as she tells Jon, she’s his and he is hers.

King of the North HQ

Robb and his army’s journey to the Twins has temporarily been put on hold due to weather.  Catelyn tries to convince Robb that Walder Frey will take their delay as a slight, but Robb is convinced a few days delay won’t hurt.  After all, Walder Frey is getting a wedding after all, even though it’s not the one he was hoping for.  Cat’s argument is wasted breath however, and soon enough Robb sends everyone out of his tent, leaving him alone with his wife.  The two enjoy some sexy sexy time, but it’s soon back to war planning .  Talisa drafts a letter to her mother in Valyrian and asks him to go with her to Volantis when the war is over.  He promises he will, then drops a bomb on him, telling him that she’s pregnant.

A Queen and her dragons

Daenerys continues on the Free Cities Freed Slave Tour and against the council of Jorah, has Barristan Selmy send word to the Yunkish Lords that she invites them to an audience with her.  The Lord that arrives does so in an ill-advised fashion: on the shoulders of slaves.  Probably not the best idea considering they know what she did to Astapor.  Perhaps he was making a statement.  It was a statement that Dany ignored completely, proven by her taking the gold the man presented her with, along with slapping down an ultimatum: free the slaves and keep his life, or suffer her wrath like Astapor did.  The Lord merely scoffs at her threat, until her dragons deliver a threat of their own.

Daenerys has become such a bad ass and has easily moved up the ranks of my favorite characters.  I think with all of the characters so far, she has gone through the most character growth.  She’s definitely marking her (scorch)mark, but she needs to watch her step.  There is crazy in her family after all and when she was throwing down the ultimatum, there was a little hint of it in her eyes.

The (separated) dynamic duo

It still breaks my heart that Gendry was separated from Arya.  While she sulks about and shoots eye-daggers at Dondarrion and his Brotherhood Without Banners, Gendry finds himself on a ship with Melisandre and posse sailing towards his old stomping grounds of King’s Landing.  Melisandre talks about his bloodline, but in cryptic terms, to which he replies that he’s nothing more than a lowborn from Fleabottom.  Melisandre tells him how her mother was a slave, as was she, until her calling from the Lord of Light came.  She seems earnest enough, but I just can’t get that image of her birthing the shadow baby out of my head.  She’s got ulterior motives, but does tell Gendry the truth about his parentage and that he has a King’s blood flowing through his veins.  How does one process news like that?

Back to Arya, refusing the hospitality that Dondarrion is clearly trying to offer, Arya is still sore about them trading Gendry for gold.  The scouts come back with news of a Lannister party that seems like an offer too good to refuse.  The Brotherhood decide to detour, which means Arya’s reunion will be further delayed.  Tired of the bullshit, Arya pulls a runner and takes off into the rainy night, only to be caught….by the Hound.

Life in the Capitol

Sansa is fretting over her pending nuptials to Tyrion, while Margaery does her best to reveal the silver lining, if there is one.  Meanwhile, Tyrion has the same conversation, albeit a bit more crude, with Bronn and tries to sugar coat the whole situation (unsuccessfully) with Shae.  While wedding day jitters affect the two, Joffrey tries his best to intimidate his Hand and grandfather, Tywin.  However, Tywin swats Joffery’s attempt at establishing his power like a pesky fly and makes the young King realize quite quickly just who’s in charge.

Dreams or nightmares

Theon awakens to find himself flat on his back, instead of being strung up on that dreadful X.  Two women tend to his various aches and pains and it becomes quite clear they have other things on their minds.  As if Theon hasn’t been tortured enough, the girls tease him mercilessly.  Thinking he’s going to get a quick piece of ass (or two), Theon begins to relish the attentions of the two ladies.  However, the mood shifts drastically and suddenly, when his tormentor sounds the horn (literally) and enters to torture Theon a bit more.  Wielding an incredibly scary looking blade, two other brutes enter, to pin Theon down.  What actually happens is left up to the imagination, but what the imagination conjures certainly isn’t pretty.

With all the amazing things this show manages to do, I will be honest and say that Theon’s storyline is doing absolutely nothing for me.  I find it all rather boring and really just want it to end one way or another.

Little Lords

Bran is still trying to make sense of his three-eyed crow dreams and Jojen tells him that he needs to follow them.  Osha however, still plans to get them to Castle Black, to Jon Snow.  Jojen reminds her that Jon isn’t at Castle Black and is surrounded by enemies.  I guess his vision hasn’t been updated just yet.  Osha then tells them the harrowing tale of how her husband left one day only to return the next as a wight.  She reminds them again that the north is quickly becoming no place for the living and because of that, the Wildings will head south.

The Bear and the Maiden Fair

Not quite following the lyrics of the song, my favorite pairing of this season had to part ways this week.  Jamie was being sent to King’s Landing by Lord Bolton’s orders, while Brienne was kept at Harenhaal.  They’re goodbye was heartbreaking what with Jamie vowing to have the Stark girls released when he bids his companion farewell.  Once away, after a brief check up with Qyburn, Jamie finds out that Brienne is being held by Locke now that Bolton has left the castle.  Knowing that her fate can’t be promising, he forces his errr……hand….to go back and collect her.

Back at Harenhaal, he finds all the men gathered around a pit where Brienne was left to fight off a bear with only a wooden sword.  Showing he’s more than what people make him to be, Jamie jumps in to save her.  And save her he does.  Once safely out of the pit, Jamie forces his hand again, and informs Locke that Brienne is going with him.  This was THE BEST scene of the episode and this relationship has come so far.  Jamie is so much more than the sum of his parts and Brienne clearly thinks so too, especially when she finally addressed his as “Ser Jamie”.

It was a very fast, very gripping hour and with only three episodes remaining, they’re just going to go by even faster.  I was very excited to see that Jamie and Brienne weren’t separated after all as it takes the sting out of Gendry being hauled away.  Speaking of, Melisandre is rather menacing and I don’t trust her one bit.  His fate has me worried.  It makes me wonder just what Episode 8 has in store.  Until then, I’ll leave you with The Hold Steady’s version of “The Bear and the Maiden Fair.”

Here’s the official synopsis:

 Kate works at the hospital in the Return Unit, helping those who have been infected by the virus that turns people into zombies. Kate’s dedication to her work is absolute, but few people realize that for her it is also a personal matter; Kate’s own husband, Alex, has been returned.
     
After various brutal and prolific attacks at the hands of Anti-Return groups and rumours that the “Protein” stock is running dangerously low, Kate fears for Alex´s safety. Suspicious of the government’s order that all the returned should report to a secure medical facility ‘for their own safety’, the couple decides to flee, taking with them all the doses of “Return Protein” they have. At no point does the couple imagine that the real threat is a lot closer than they think…

To check out the English version of the trailer, click on the following link: The Returned trailer (English).  If for some reason that link doesn’t work for you, try this one instead: http://www.filmaxinternational.com/film.php?id=70

The footage is exactly the same as the Spanish version, so if you’ve already seen that version you won’t find anything new.

This is definitely a film I’ll be keeping an eye on so as we get more news, I’ll be sure to update you.

The Returned stars Kris Holden-Ried (which a gaggle of people will recognize from his role as Dyson on Lost Girl), Emily Hampshire (Cosmopolis) and Shawn Doyle (Lost Girl, Vegas).

I do respect this show’s ability to freely adapt established fairy tales and connect story-lines that should have not relation at all.  Peter Pan has never been one of my favorite fairy tales, but I have to say that I was a little bit excited at the prospect of tying in the boy who wouldn’t grow up.  I mean, we already have Captain Hook, so bringing in Peter Pan was the next natural step.  However, I didn’t expect them to take the road they took, and for that, I’ll give kudos.

Fairytale Land

It all starts in FTL where the “previously on” ends where young Bae was going feet first into the portal, while pre-Dark One Rumpelstiltskin only watched, being too much of a coward to go with him.  Picking up right after, the portal deposits young Bae in early 20th century London.  After living on the streets for weeks, and starving, Bae sneaks through an open window and gorges himself on fresh made bread.  He’s caught by a young girl, who introduces herself as Wendy.  Once she realizes he’s starving, she hides him away in a crawl space for weeks and keeps him fed.  Her parents, the Darlings, find out and her father is furious.  Her mother on the other hand, takes Bae in and makes him a part of their family.

Bae isn’t the only secret the Darling kids are hiding and they tell Bae about the “Shadow” (not to be confused with that awful Alec Baldwin film) that comes at night.  One night the shadow arrives damn if it isn’t one of the creepiest shadows ever!  Wendy decides to leaves with it, must to Bae’s dismay.  The next morning, Wendy comes home and Bae expresses his concern.  She tells Bae how the Shadow rules over a place called Neverland and it’s filled with young boys who can’t ever leave.  The Shadow, if I’m being honest even in its horrible CGI state, is quite menacing.  I may not care much for Peter Pan overall, but I do appreciate the fact that the writers went dark and menacing with him.  Well, his shadow at least.  Bae asks how she got away, and she tells him that the Shadow let her go, but will be back for one of her brothers.  In an effort to protect his new family, Bae swears that he won’t let anything happen to any of them.

Gathering the troops and all house-hold material weapons they can find, the Darling children and Bae prepare for the shadow’s arrival.  After a bit of waiting, the time comes.  All the candles and lanterns are extinguished, and the Shadow comes through the window and eyes the boys with his creepy glowing eyes.  Bae puts himself in the way and tells Wendy that he’s doing it to save them.

The Shadows takes Bae and flies through the city, then heads toward the….yep, you guessed it…the second star to the right.  Next thing he knows, they’re in Neverland and approaching an island.  Knowing his fate if his feet touch the shore, Bae lights a match, causing the Shadow to drop him into the water, which ultimately was a good thing.  The Shadow takes off, and soon enough, Bae is pulled onto the deck of a ship where he’s greeted by none other than Captain Hook.  Well, Neal mentioned that he didn’t head straight for New York when he left FTL and he made mention about being on the Jolly Roger previously.  Now we know how he got there.

Storybrooke

In Storybrooke, Neal wakes up to find Tamara getting dressed for a run.  Apparently she’s training for a marathon and is about to go on her training run.  While she’s out running, Emma, Mary Margaret, David and Henry break into Regina’s office to try to find the magical beans.  There’s no sign of Regina, and they notice that the plant Regina has in her office has been stripped of the beans.  Emma realizes that the alarm has been overridden and she’s convinced it was Tamara.  Henry however, is super worried about Regina, but Emma promises him they will find her.

Next shot is of Tamara showing Greg the beans she swiped from Regina’s office and Greg mentions how the home office will be pleased.  Home office?  Seriously??  Oh yeah, Greg also have Regina strapped to a gurney and since she can’t use magic, she can’t fight back.  He hooks her up with some electrodes and plans to torture her in to telling him where his father is.

Meanwhile, Neal stops Gold from stomping on Dr. Whale’s face because he was convinced Whale was eyeballing Lacey.  Gold gets all cocky, questioning Neal on why he’s still in town if Neal doesn’t want to have anything to do with him and Neal tells Gold that he’s staying for Henry, not him.  Ouch.

In an effort to find Regina, David cashes in the favor that Gold owes him.  Gold gives David and Mary Margaret a bottle with one of Regina’s tears and also collects one from Mary Margaret.  He tells her to drop them in her eye, then anything Regina sees and feels, will be felt by her as well.  That should lead them to where Regina is.  David is apprehensive but Mary Margaret sees it as a way to un-darken her heart.  Oh brother!

Emma goes back to Neal and Tamara’s room and tells Neal that she’s convinced Tamara is behind Regina’s disappearance.  She finds sand in the closet and questions Neal about it since he told her that Tamara runs in the forest.  Neal goes with Emma to the beach and wouldn’t you know it….Tamara is there running, effectively shutting Emma down.  While that’s happening, Greg tortures Regina and wants answers about his father, but she doesn’t budge.  Meanwhile, as she’s getting shock therapy, Mary Margaret feels everything and tells David what she sees and feels.

After talking to David Emma heads to the sardine factory, convinced that’s where Regina is being held.  She tells David and Mary Margaret to get to the docks right away and proceeds inside with Neal at her back.  Seeing them approach, Tamara tries to hold them off while Greg tries to get answers.  Tamara ends up shooting Neal, and thwacking Emma over the head with a pipe.  The two women scuffle and Tamara throws down a bean, which opens a portal.  Emma holds on to a pipe, trying not to get sucked in, and Neal jumps to her rescue.  However, the rescue attempts to backfire and it’s Neal who ends up going through the portal after he and Emma exchange mutual I love yous.

Greg finally gets the answer he’s looking for, but not the one that he wants.  In a classic cold Evil Queen manner, Regina finally tells him that she killed his father right after he left and buried him at their old campsite.  Greg flees the building, Regina passes out, only to be found by her rescue party.  Mary Margaret and David take her back to the loft where she wakes up, shocked that they saved her.  She tells them about the trigger that was built-in to the curse and how Tamara and Greg are still in possession of it.  Emma comes home and tells them what happened to Neal and wonders how she’s going to tell Henry.

Greg is out at the old campsite digging frantically and finds what he wished he wouldn’t have.  A skull and his father’s old shirt.  Looks like Regina was telling the truth.  Tamara approaches and apologizes to him for his loss and the two look upon the trigger they swiped from Regina and talk about the plan to wipe Storybrooke out once and for all.

So, what is this “home office” madness they keep speaking of?  I picture some corporate office with cubicles who locate, track and exterminate magic.  It’s all a bit silly if you ask me.  I mean, I know this show is all about stretching the imagination, I mean, it’s all about fairy tales for crying out loud.  But it seems to be bordering silly at this point.  Not fun silly, but irritating silly.  And I’m really pissed about Neal.  First they kill Graham.  Then they turn August into a little boy.  Now Neal is gone?  Really?!  They don’t want Emma to find any happiness do they?  Yeah, she’s a strong female lead and the heroine of the show, but that doesn’t mean she has to keep suffering loss after loss after loss.  Giving her a romantic interest doesn’t make her weak writers!  Oh….and I really, really, I mean REALLY HATE Lacey.   I’m just saying.  Next week is the finale and I honestly have no idea where they’re headed with all of this.  We’ll just have to wait and see I suppose.

The flip side of that hatred however is my love for all things Arya, Jon Snow, and Jamie and Brienne.  All who happened to be present this week.  Sadly however, there was no Daenerys, which means no dragons or Jorah, but that doesn’t mean it still wasn’t a fantastic episode.  The pieces are moving on the chessboard and things are finally falling into place.

Things are happening all over King’s Landing.  First, Cersei and Tyrion commiserate over the misfortune thrust upon them by their loving father as Cersei watches an unknowing Loras and Sansa in the garden.  Tyrion asks about the plan she had in mind for his demise, but his heart just isn’t into it.  Knowing he has to do the deed, Tyrion pays a visit to Sansa to break the news.  As if telling Sansa about their situation isn’t bad enough, at her urging, he has to break the news in front of Shae as well.

Olenna meets with Tywin regarding the pending nuptials between Loras and Cersei and makes mention of how Cersei is too old to be wed to Loras.  The Queen of Thorns is put in her place quite quickly however when Tywin plays dirty and with inked quill ready, tells her that if she doesn’t agree to the match, he’ll assign Loras to the Kingsguard where he will never wed, thus ending the Tyrell family line.  Not left with much choice, Lady Olenna breaks Tywin’s quill, effectively agreeing to the match.

Littlefinger has always had an agenda.  He’s conniving, patient and manipulative, which can be lethal qualities in and of themselves.  He and Varys have enjoyed a mutual “frenemy” type relationship thus far, but the extent of Littlefinger’s resolve has never been made public.  Until now.  Discussing the finer points of the Iron Throne and quests for power, Littlefinger sheds a bit of light on the episode’s title.

“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. Some, given a chance to climb, refuse. They cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.”

It’s not so much his words, but his expression when he recites these words.  There is a lethal quality to the look in his eyes and we know that he’s not joking.  He’s finally putting his plan into play and there will be a price.  He wants the power, the title, the glory and the army and he’s slowing achieving all of this.  As a parting jibe to Varys, Littlefinger makes a passing comment about a betrayal.  Turns out that he was talking about Ros, and her betrayal of Littlefinger to Varys.  She suffered mightily at the hands of Joffrey and his crossbow.  Meanwhile, Sansa can only watch as Littlefinger’s ship sails away, knowing she could have been on it with him, instead of being hitched to Tyrion.  To be honest, I still think she should have left with the Hound when he asked her to go with him.

Due to so much happening in King’s Landing, it means we’re light on everything else, which sadly, includes Jamie and Brienne.  Lord Bolton found it in himself to have someone find new rags for Brienne, but much to her dismay, it’s in the form of a pink dress.  I have to say, it doesn’t work on her at all.  Jamie and Brienne dine with Bolton, where Jamie struggles with cutting his food, but luckily, his right hand gal is there to help.  However, Jamie keeps using his family’s name, even though Bolton isn’t really playing that game.  Bolton assures him that he will get to King’s Landing, but asks him to tell his father that Bolton wasn’t responsible for the missing hand.  Jamie wants to know when they’re leaving, but Bolton tells him that Brienne won’t be traveling with him any further.  Ok, this really breaks my heart.  I love these two and really hope they continue on together.  However, it’s been my experience with this world that anything I want to happen, rarely does.

Arya is still in the company of the Brotherhood Without Banners as they’ve yet to reach Riverrun so they can turn her over to Robb for gold.  So she makes the best of her time and continues her training on becoming an even bigger bad ass than she already is.  As she’s taking lessons on how to properly shoot a bow and arrow, she spies someone approaching.  That someone turns out to be Melisandre and her escorts.  After shooting the breeze in High Valyrain, and seeming a bit jealous over Thoros’ accomplishments at the hand of the Lord of Light, Melisandre tells him that the Lord of Light led her to them because they have something she needs.  Much to Arya’s horror, that something turns out to be Gendry.  He does have a king’s blood flowing through his veins, even though he doesn’t know it yet.  Not one to let things lie, Arya storms up the Melisandre demanding answers, and what Melisandre sees behind Arya’s eyes, actually seemed to worry her.  She regains her composure quick enough however, and as a parting remark, she tells Arya that they will meet again.

Robb is all business as usual now that he has a plan.  Of course his actions have consequences, that Edmure has to pay.  After meeting with two of Walder Frey’s representatives, it turns out that fences can be mended after all.  With Robb breaking his vow to marry one of Frey’s daughters, things were not going well between the two houses.  Now that Robb needs Frey’s army, he’s trying to patch the gaping hole he shot through their alliance.  The price?  Edmure Tully must marry one of the daughters instead.  After some not so nice convincing by his Uncle Blackfish, Edmure finally relents.  Poor Edmure….has to pay for Robb’s serious lack in judgement.  I mean, I know the heart wants what it wants, but he really F’d that alliance up by shacking up with Talisa.  Oh and then there was the matter of beheading Rickard Karstark and losing that army.

Checking back in briefly with Bran, who spends his part mediating a bit of a confrontation between Meera and Osha.  Who knew that skinning rabbits would become a competitive sport.  All kidding aside, Bran puts his little foot down and commands both of them to apologize to each other.  Begrudgingly, they do, but apologies and mutual respect is put on hold when Jojen suffers a seizure while sleeping.  Meera tells Bran that the visions take their toll on her brother, and confirms that he’s currently in the middle of one.  Jojen awakens, and tells Bran that his vision was of Jon Snow and how he was on the wrong side of the wall surrounded by enemies.

Speaking of Jon Snow….as he prepares to scale the Wall, along with Tormund and the rest of his crew, Ygritte informs him that she knows he never stopped being a crow.  She basically tells him she doesn’t care, as long as he puts her first.  He neither confirms, nor denies her suspicions, but now that he’s got feelings for her, his task just became even more difficult.  Putting all that aside however, Ygritte and Jon begin their ascent.  I figured it would be Jon who missteps on the climb, but it was actually Ygritte who caused a chuck of the Wall to split and fall, taking her and Jon with it.  Tied to Orell, with Tormund leading their charge, Orell cuts Ygritte and Jon loose, but they’re able to catch themselves, and finally, make it to the top where they’re greeted by Orell giving them both the stink eye.  Instead of beating Orell bloody for cutting them loose, Jon shows Ygritte the south side of the Wall, where the two share some face time.

Finally, checking in with Theon, he’s still strung up on that awful X frame torture device.  His savior, then captor, not only uses physical torture, but mental as well and to be honest, I still don’t know who this guy is.  He tells Theon if he can guess accurately, then he’ll spare the finger he plans on cutting off if Theon guesses wrong.  Theon guesses that he’s the son of Rickard Karstark, to which the young man verifies is true.  However, he then turns around and tells Theon that he’s a liar and proceeds to peel away pieces of Theon’s pinky.  Honestly, can we just get past this already?  As much as I love this show, this whole Theon being tortured for episodes on end thing needs to find its end because this is the one aspect of the show that is dragging.  Is it just me?  I will say however, that this guy…whoever he is, is pretty menacing, sadistic and scary.

So, not so heavy on the action front, but there’s a lot going on.  Still, it was a gripping episode and I’m dying to find out just what Melisandre saw in Arya’s eyes.  We’re winding down with only four episodes left and it kills me to think that this season is almost done.  I have a feeling some serious shit is going to go down at some point.  What with all these weddings coming up….something is bound to go down fast.  This series is not all about the bright shiny happy endings after all, so now is not the time to wish for them.

On the plus side however, Hook is back.  Thank goodness.  Oh how I’ve missed his sarcasm and generally snarky disposition.  On the negative side, we also got some wretched CGI….again.  They really need to do something about that.  But, enough of all that, let’s talk about Greg and Tamara.  We know he’s looking for his father, but her reasoning hasn’t been revealed yet.  What is her story and how does it relate to what’s going on?  This damned show…even though I’m mad at it right now, it still manages to make me ask questions.  I guess that says something doesn’t it.

Fairytale Land

In FTL, the Evil Queen is hunting Snow White.  She’s led to a small village in the forest and the locals are less than helpful.  Since no one is stepping forward with answers, Regina’s solution is to kill everyone.  What a gal.  Back at her castle, she can’t understand why people fear her instead of loving her.  She is their Queen after all and questions why she’s been dubbed the “Evil Queen”.  Of course Rumpelstiltskin is there to lend an ear, as well as some answers reminding her that she did in fact, just slaughter a gaggle of innocent villagers.

She asks Rumps to teach her how to transform, like he did with Cora, but he tells her it will take too long for her to learn the spell.  Instead he offers to change her into someone unrecognizable so she can get close to Snow.  The catch is that only he can change her back, and she won’t be able to use magic.  After she agrees with his price, and he changes her into a lowly peasant girl.

On a mission to find Snow, Regina heads to the town square where she comes upon a man running a carnival type game of throw-the-arrow-at-an-effigy-of-the-queen and is appalled that people are doing things like this behind her back.  She tries to stop the madness and is relieved with her guards arrive.  Small issue though, her guards don’t recognize her and mistake her for the one committing blasphemy against the crown.  So she’s arrested, but before they take her head for treason, arrows fly.  A hooded figure shows up and fights off the guards and saves Regina.

Later on, Regina wakes up, injured in a camp hidden in the woods.  She’s shocked to find that the person who saved her is none other than Snow White.  Snow tends to her wounds and tells her the story of how when she was younger, she was saved from a runaway horse by a total stranger.  It was that moment that made her realize that everyone has goodness in their heart.  Regina is shocked to learn how Snow sees her, and even may have shed a tear.  Snow finishes up and tell Regina to rest, not like she has much choice.  Once she’s able to move, Snow helps Regina up telling her they have to keep moving.  Along the way, Regina questions Snow about her feelings toward the Evil Queen and Snow tells her that there is goodness there and if Regina were to come to her right then and ask to start fresh, Snow would welcome it.  Regina seems like she’s on the verge of doing just that, but then they come upon the piles of bodies.  Horrified, Snow tells Regina that she takes back everything she just said, because this proves how evil Regina truly is.

Regina tries to make Snow see the goodness and brings up the incident with the runaway horse, naming Regina as the one who saved her.  Small problem though, Snow never told the girl it was Regina.  Snow catches on that the peasant girl IS Regina and notches an arrow, preparing to shoot, but Regina calls for Rumpelstiltskin and disappears.  It’s the fail safe to the spell you know.

Back at the castle, she demands to be changed back, but Rumpelstiltskin takes his time.  Regina admits that the people will never love her and that the Queen is dead.  Long live the Queen.  Back in her leather and high collars, she’s all business now.

Storybrooke

Greg and Tamara have Hook tied to a chair in the clock tower.  Instead of making demands of him, they decide to offer him a job.  They want his help in finding Greg’s father and tell him that they know how to counteract magic.  Hook, being the opportunist he is, gives them a listen.

David and Mary Margaret sit on the docks with a woobie (if you’ve seen Mr. Mom you know that is (it’s a blanket)) and a hot beverage (which if it were me, it’d have booze in it) and discuss their plans for going back to the Enchanted Forest.  To take Regina or not to take her, that is the question.  David tells Mary Margaret that they can offer Regina a choice.  As they discuss matters, an old crusty fisherman walks out of sight and turns into Regina.

The next morning, Regina sees Henry tending to a bird house and stops to talk, telling him that she wanted to see him.  She then goes on and tells him about David and Mary Margaret’s plan to take him to FLT and leave her behind.  She tells him of her plan to take him there instead, and that the curse had a failsafe in place just in case.  When Henry asks what happens to Storybrooke, she tells him that the failsafe will kill everyone who’s left behind.  I was kind of shocked that she was telling him all this, and he was as well.  When he asks why she’s telling him everything, she tells him that he’s the only one she can talk to.  Which I found sort of sad.  Anyway, with a wave of her hand, she wipes his memory clean and starts over telling him she wanted to see him.

After her chat with Henry, Regina gets an unexpected visit from Hook.  He tells her that Greg and Tamara enlisted his help to get to her, but he’d rather help her instead.  And since he couldn’t get his revenge on Gold, helping her get her revenge is the next best thing.  Especially since he considered Cora a friend.  Regina notices a leather bracelet on his wrist and comments on how it was Cora’s and demands that he give it to her.

Back at the crowded loft, Emma tries to convince Mary Margaret that Tamara is the “she” that August was trying to warn her about.  Mary Margaret thinks it has to do with Neal, and to not let Henry know about her suspicions because he’ll think Emma and Neal will get back together.  Emma tells her it’s not about Neal, but Mary Margaret tells her to proceed carefully.  Once Mary Margaret is gone, Henry tells Emma that he heard everything and Operation Cobra is back on.

Emma and Henry go on a stake out and once they know it’s clear, Emma breaks into Neal’s room looking for evidence, while Henry keeps a look out.  Neal shows up and knows right away what’s going on and demands answers.  Emma tells him that she thinks Tamara is up to no good, but she can’t find the evidence to prove it.

Mary Margaret, David and Leroy head to the crop to check in on the beans, but find that they’ve been destroyed.  Mary Margaret questions who would do such a thing, and all I could think was really? Really Mary Margaret? You have to ask??

Meanwhile, Regina tells Hook about the failsafe to the curse and takes him with her to get the trigger, which is hidden in the bowels of the town where Emma defeated the dragon.  Regina uses Hook as more of an offering to a haggard looking Malificent and while he fights her off in a horrible display of CGI, Regina retrieves the trigger and goes topside, leaving Hook to his own devices.

However, once Regina steps off the elevator, she find Hook waiting for her in the library.  She’s shocked to see him there and he tells her that he almost put an end to his plan, but then she betrayed him.  Greg and Tamara show up and Regina tries to use her magic, but nothing happens.  Greg tells her that they found a way to counteract magic, and it all has to do with the bracelet she took from Hook.  Even if she removes it, the metals are already in her system and there’s no counteracting it.  Apparently they blinded her magic with science.  SCIENCE!  Tamara whips our her list and Greg tells her that Regina was the Evil Queen.

So I’m really curious about this science that can defeat magic.  So help me God, if Tamara busts out that stupid taser again, I’m going to go into a rage induced breaking things session.  At least we get a break from Gold and Belle.  Sorry…..I mean Lacey.  It pains me to say it, but this show is slowly losing me with each passing week.  Perhaps it’s a good thing that the season is drawing to a close.  Perhaps the hiatus will breathe some new life back in to the series.  While a third season has yet to be announced, I did read somewhere about a possible production start date.  The renewal announcement came in May last year, so it’s not surprising word hasn’t come down the pipeline just yet.  Since we’re headed to Neverland in the final two episodes of the season, I would like to see where they go with that storyline.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

Trial by fire

The night is dark and full of terrors indeed.  Tensions in the cave are running high where the Hound’s fate will be decided by a duel against Dondarrion.  As they prepare, Thoros whispers a prayer to the Lord of Light, and Dondarrion, who has been touched by the God, sets his sword aflame using his own blood.  Not really a cool thing to do considering the only thing that the Hound fears is fire.  In one of the best sword fights I’ve seen on this show, the Hound prevails and wins the duel, and along with it, his freedom.  There’s more to Thoros than meets the eye.  Something Arya finds out when after whispering a prayer over his leader’s body, Thoros is able to bring Dondarrion back from the dead.

Despairing over the Hound’s freedom, Ayra gets another bit of bad news when Gendry tells her that he plans to stay on as the Brotherhood’s smith.  She’s completely torn up about his decision to leave her and tells him that she can be his family but he replies honestly by saying “you’d be my lady.”  I’m really sad about Gendry’s decision, but I understand his reasons.  He’s the bastard of the former king and has done nothing but serve and suffer. Even though he clearly would love to stay with Arya, the time has come for him to move on.  With the Brotherhood he’s got a chance to be a part of something, even though Arya doesn’t quite understand it.

Later that evening, Arya sits by the fire and recites her death prayer while Thoros listens.  He tells her that in the morning, they’ll head to Riverrun, and hand her over to Robb in exchange for gold.  Dondarrion sits with them where he and Thoros tell Arya the stories of how many times Thoros has brought him back from the dead.  It’s a lot to take in for the young Stark girl and she doesn’t really fancy any of it.

In the North

Jon gets grilled by Orell and Tormund about the forces guarding the Wall.  He ends up revealing more information than what he probably would have liked, but knowing his life depends on it, not to mention Halfhand’s dying command, he didn’t have much of a choice.  Ygritte still defends him, telling the other men that Jon Snow is no crow.  Such faith she has in him that she finally reveals herself to him.  In the physical sense that is.  Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happens next right?  Friskiness ensues and Jon finds himself embedded even deeper into his current situation.  The question is will Jon be able to keep his mission and his feelings separate and what will happen when he has to make a choice?  These are not people you really want to cross and Jon’s chances of surviving are slim if he’s discovered.

Harrenhaal

Every scene with Jamie and Brienne is a treasure, but their part this week goes beyond what great television is about.  Nikolaj Coster-Waldau deserves every award for his work in this episode.  After being delivered to Lord Bolton, and having the fate of King’s Landing and his sister dangled in front of his face, Jamie is visibly relieved to learn both are still alive and well.  More suffering comes however when he sees the ex-Maester and has to get his stump worked on.  Lord Bolton may be harsh for making Jamie suffer for a spell, but he’s a gracious host and offers his two guests every courtesy.  One of these is a bath, which both are in dire need of.

While Brienne tries to scrub the skin off her body, Jamie enters the bathing chambers and shares her tub with her.  Even though there are others.  In a startling display of trust, Jamie opens up about how he came to be knows as “the kingslayer”.  This one monologue, delivered perfectly, makes Brienne, and the viewer, rethink everything she thinks she knows about him.  Now knowing that Jamie faced an impossible choice, the view on Ned Stark’s morality is questioned as well.  Ned never gave Jamie the chance to explain that either he killed the king, or would be forced to kill his father and watch thousands of innocents in King’s Landing die at the hands of the king’s wildfire.  How is that even a choice?  Brienne listens, stunned into silence, especially when he tells her that he does indeed trust her, and that he only asks the same in return.

This was such a startling scene and one of the best of the season, if not the series.  Monologues are a tricky business and a lot of times the emotion that needs to come through is lacking.  Off the top of my head there are but few that can pull me in like this one did.  The only other monologue that had the same effect on me that I can think of was the one Lee Adama gave while on the stand at Baltar’s trial in Battlestar Galactica.

Dragonstone

Stannis actually goes to see his wife Selsey and confess how he had an affair with Melisandre, but she already knows.  She apparently has had a bit too much of Melisandre’s Kool-Aid and is all about the Lord of Light and is a little freaky if you ask me.  She’s got her dead babies in jars for crying out loud.  Bat. Shit. Crazy.  Stannis seems to be looking for forgiveness, but she tells him it isn’t needed. He also decides that now’s a good time to go see his daughter Shireen, who’s up in her tower cell room singing to herself, having a grand old-time.  Shireen is cute and sweet even if she is rather peculiar and if afflicted by the Grayscale that covers half of her face.  She’s excited to see him and asks about the Onion Knight, but Stannis has to tell her that Davos is a traitor and is hanging out down in the dungeon.  This news makes her sad because he was her friend.  She’s not sad for long however, because she makes her way down to the dungeons to see him.  He tries to send her away, but she doesn’t listen and instead, tries to teach him how to read.

There is always a reason for the introduction to new characters and I have a feeling that Shireen will play a bigger part in things to come.  I could be way off base, but her little haunting song, along with the fact that same song is what played over the closing credits, has to mean something.

In the East

After the awesome spectacle that Daenerys put on last week, I feel a bit let down this week.  Traveling the space between Astapor and Yunkai, we don’t actually get too much Daenerys time.  What we do see of her, she meets with the newly appointed leader, voted by the Officers, of the Unsullied army.  Once again she tells them all that they are free men and asks the leader his name.  Grey Worm, he says.  Appalled that the slaves are given names of vermin, she tells them to take back their given names and to throw away their slave names.  Grey Worm tells her that he considers it a lucky name, because that was his name when she freed him.

Meanwhile, Jorah and Ser Barristan ride side by side sharing stories of war and the like.  What was a pleasant camaraderie soon turns into a pissing match when Selmy gives his thoughts on how Dany should proceed upon her return to Westeros.  Telling Jorah that he thinks Dany should surround herself with respectable advisors and not slave traders probably wasn’t a great idea.  Especially considering that in the beginning Jorah has alternative motives in joining her cause.  Jorah’s secret is still just that thankfully, and he tells Selmy that he’s not the Lord Commander anymore, and that he was calling Dany Kahleesi long before Selmy left the King’s Guard.

Riverrun

Robb’s pissed at Lord Karstark because he murdered the two young Lannister boys that his Uncle captured in last week’s episode.  Karstark sees it as justice for the death of his own sons but Robb disagrees and sentences him death.  Following in his father’s footsteps, Robb does the deed himself and beheads Lord Karstark in one swing of the sword.  Karstark losing his head also means Robb losing about half of his army.   However, while talking to Talisa, Robb has an epiphany and tells her that he needs to call on the one man who has the men he needs.  Walder Frey…..whose daughter Robb was supposed to marry.

Losing half his army is bad news for Robb.  Calling on Frey probably isn’t the best idea either since Robb broke his vow and married Talisa.  Actions have consequences, which is exactly what Karstark found out.  It pained Robb to do it, but he couldn’t just let the man go.  He’s already taken a beating for not punishing his mother more severely when she let Jamie go.  It wouldn’t do for the King of the North to let something like the blatant murder of two young boys go unpunished.

King’s Landing

King’s Landing is bustling with scheming, snooping and planning and even though Littlefinger is leaving, he’s got his mitts in everything.  First off Tyrion is just trying to get a handle on his new duties as Master of Coin and is rather worried that the costly royal wedding is going to break the bank even more than what it already is.  In an entertaining scene between Tryion and Olenna, he expresses his concern about the cost.  The woman does not suffer any bullshit and calls him on the carpet more than once.  In the end however, she agrees to pay for half, and abruptly leaves, but Tyrion can utter another word.  I don’t think Tyrion is used to someone who isn’t his family being so direct and callous.

Meanwhile, Cersei tries to get ahead of the Margaery’s plan, and asks Littlefinger to look into things and report back.  As if he doesn’t have enough to do what with planning to leave for the Vale and all.  Littlefinger being who he is however, has one of his spies look into it and finds that there’s talk of a marriage between Loras and Sansa.  He reports this information back to Cersei, then seeks out Sansa to ask her if she still wants to leave with him.  However, Sansa being the romantic she is still wants her happy ending and thinks she’s going to get it with a marriage to Loras, tells Littlefinger that she doesn’t want to put him in any danger and suggests that she not leave the capital just yet.  Everyone wants a piece of Sansa because she is after all the key to the North.  Littlefinger isn’t offering her safe passage just to be nice.  He’s got designs on her in his own twisted way.

As if Tyrion didn’t have enough to deal with, he arrives at a meeting with his father, only to see Cersei there as well, wearing a shit eating grin.  Tywin gets right down to business and he and Cersei tell Tyrion about the plans for Sansa and Loras to be married.  Tyrion doesn’t see the problem, but Tywin informs him of the ramification of uniting the Tyrell’s with a Stark and what that would mean.  Cersei looks like the cat who ate the canary when Tyrion realizes that his father is suggesting….no, demanding that HE be wed to Sansa.  He may be a Lannister, but he is quite noble and tries to convince his father not to use Sansa as a piece on the Lannister chess board again, but Tywin is firm in his decision, much to Cersei’s delight.  However, that delight is short-lived when Tywin informs her that it’s time she be remarried, and she will marry Loras Tyrell.

Oh that ending scene was a delightful morsel to behold.  I do love it when Cersei gets a dose of the shit she hands out to everyone else.  However, bummer for Tyrion.  Although I think that Sansa is safer with him, than she is with anyone else.  Although I still think she’s completely stupid for not leaving with the Hound when he wanted to take her with him.

Like I mentioned above, it’s the little things that made this such an incredible episode.  Things like Cersei’s little grin at Tyrion’s expense, the expression in Jamie’s eyes when he tells Brienne his story, the look of loss on Arya’s face when Gendry tells her that he’s not going with her.  All of those things together make an incredible episode.  I can’t believe we’re at the halfway point already and I don’t want this season to end, but I’m very excited to see what happens next week in the episode titled “The Climb”.

I have to say that I’m not super impressed with this season.  I’ve gotten to the point where I just sort of throw my hands in the air and just say ok, whatever.  I think that August was the last straw for me if I’m being completely honest.  Hopefully these final episodes will being it all together.  And hopefully Hook will make an appearance again.  Last we heard of him he wasn’t in the closet that Neal stashed him in, but he hasn’t been seen since.

Fairytale Land

It’s all about Belle and Rumpelstiltskin again this week and it goes back to when Belle first agreed to be his guest.  She’s sobbing, like ugly-shoulder sobbing type of crying in her room when Rumps comes in and basically tells her to shut up.  He even gives her a new pillow to muffle her cries.  As he’s reading her the riot act, he hears a noise downstairs and realizes that someone is in his castle.  When he enters the hall, he finds a hooded man who is stealing a magic wand.  Rumps and the hooded man with the magical bow whose arrow always hits its mark go back and forth, Rumps taunts, the man fires an arrow that lands in Rumps chest, Rumps pulls it out….it’s like a big magical pissing contest.  But in the end, the hooded man loses and finds himself Rumpelstiltskin’s prisoner.

Later on, Belle is in the hall sweeping when Rumpelstiltskin walks in wearing a bloody apron.  He says he’s going out and to have it clean by the time he gets back.  Instead of doing as she’s told, she sneaks down to the dungeon and frees the prisoner.  Fearing for her safety, he tells her to come with him, but she tells him she must stay to protect her family and kingdom.

When Rumpelstiltskin returns, Belle is in the hall calmly reading a book.  After finding that his prisoner is missing, he takes his anger out on Belle, especially when she admits to freeing the poor man.  She tells him that she knows he was stealing out of necessity and that he must have needed it for something.  Rumpelstiltskin doesn’t care and tells her that no one steals from the Dark One and gets away with it.  He tells her that he’s going to find the man and kill him and because she let him go, she’s going to watch it all happen.

The travel into the forest and cross paths with a Sheriff (it’s not Graham sadly) who’s also looking for the same man.  The Sheriff tells him that the man disgraced him, and he goes by the name of Robin Hood.  As if the bow and arrow didn’t give that one away am I right?  Leaving the Sheriff, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin see Robin Hood as he waits for a horse-drawn cart to pull up.  Rumpelstiltskin is about to fire off an arrow when Belle stops him.  They see Robin Hood wave the magic wand over a woman who is laid out in the back of the cart and Belle realizes that Robin Hood stole the wand to save her.  Rumps doesn’t give a rip though and once again prepares to fire off an arrow.  He’s brought up short however, when they see that the woman (Maid Marian) is pregnant.  Rumpelstiltskin fires off an arrow, but misses both of them.  When Belle asks what happened, he says he missed, but she knows the truth.

When Rumpelstiltskin and Belle return to his castle, things between them have changed a bit.  Rumpelstiltskin takes Belle upstairs and shows her his library of books and it seems as a bit of a peace-offering.  Belle tells him that he’s not the man she thought he was, and for that, she’s glad.  She even goes so far as to hug him, which seems to throw him for a loop.

Storybrooke

We kick things off in Storybrooke with Mary Margaret, David, Neal, Emma, Henry and Gold in Gold’s shop celebrating Henry’s birthday.  Gold tells him to pick anything he wants and Henry chooses a wand that Gold shows him how to use.  Gold actually turns him into a ceramic version and shatters Henry telling the others that it had to be done.  Not to worry, it was just a dream.  We next see Gold watching Neal and Henry play-sword fighting when Regina approaches.  He gives her the great news that he’s Henry’s grandfather, and Regina tells him that the family won’t accept him and that his dark heart always wins.

Belle is still in the hospital and Gold pays her a visit.  She’s surprised and relieved to see that he’s still alive and he says that his feelings for her are true.  Belle tells him that she believes him and that she has a gift for knowing what’s in someone’s heart.  Gold tells her that he’ll arrange to spring her from the hospital and afterwards, he wants to help her remember who she is, and maybe she can help him remember the man that she knew him to be.  Luckily for Gold, she seems open to the idea which is a complete 180 from where she was when he tried to visit her before.

As Belle packs up her things, Regina pops in to “see how she’s doing”.  Belle thanks her for her concern and tells her that Gold is going to have the doctors release her.  Regina “picks” up a matchbook from the floor and hands it to Belle asking if she dropped it.  Of course, this being Regina, she put a hex on it.  Belle doesn’t recognize it, but Regina tells her to look closer.  Once Belle does, the hex kicks in and Belle suddenly remembers who she is.

In other parts of Storybrooke, Mary Margaret and David take Emma out to the boondocks.  When Emma questions why they took her out to the middle of nowhere, David and Mary Margaret walk her into a cloaked field where Anton and the dwarves are harvesting the magic bean crop.  Emma’s quick to catch on that they want the beans to create a portal so they can go back to Fairytale Land.  David and Mary Margaret want Emma and Henry to go with them, but Emma’s not sure.  Mary Margaret says that rebuilding their world will do her blackening heart good.  Oh brother.

Gold goes to the hospital to retrieve Belle, only to find that she’s gone.  He then finds the matchbook that happens to be from a joint called The Rabbit Hole, so he starts there.  Once at the bar, he grills the bartender on Belle’s whereabouts.  The bartender asks him to describe the woman he’s looking for and when Gold does, the bartender tells him it sounds like a regular named Lacey.  He points her out and lo and behold….it’s Belle.  Not the Belle we all know and have come to love to be irritated with, but rather a barfly trashy version of her.

Gold approaches Lacey at the pool table where Lacey looks to be hustling some poor soul (I actually think it was Sneezy, but I’m not 100% sure).  Gold approaches her and she tells him that she finally remembers who she is…and that her name is Lacey, not Belle.

Pissed, Gold storms into Regina’s office, where she pretty much just blows him off.  She knows he’s trying to be good for Henry’s sake, and she tells him that she can’t reverse the curse.  Not knowing where else to go, Gold heads to Granny’s and asks David for help since even during the curse, he and Mary Margaret found a way to be together.  Knowing Gold will owe him a favor (not a bad person to call in a marker with), David tells him that he has to show her the man she originally fell in love with and agrees to help.

Meanwhile, Emma sits at the docks looking through Henry’s book when Regina approaches her and the two bicker like a couple of old ladies.  Emma tells Regina she better watch it before she “loses Henry for good.”  Way to go Emma.  Regina immediately picks up on the slip of the tongue and knows Emma is hiding something.

Gold and David head back to The Rabbit Hole where Gold convinces Lacey to go on a date with him.  She agrees and tells him to meet her at Granny’s that evening.  When he does, the two talk and Lacey says something that Belle once said a long time ago.  This makes Gold quite happy because he thinks Belle is still in there somewhere.  After he accidentally spills his drink on her, Lacey excuses herself to go clean up.  When she doesn’t come back, Gold goes looking for her and finds her out back getting frisky with another man.  After the other man runs off, Lacey tells Gold that she only accepted his offer because she felt bad for him, but that she’s not the Belle he keeps talking about.  Dejected, he walks away and runs into the same man who Lacey was with.  Gold’s dark side takes over once again and he begins to beat the crap out of the guy with his cane.  Lacey sees it happening and tells him that she’s not the man she thought he was…and she’s glad.  Taking that as a sign, Gold continues to beat the other man senseless.

Meanwhile, Regina sees David and Mary Margaret drop Leroy and boys off at Granny’s and once they drive away, Regina throws down some magic that just so happens to light up the tire tracks so she can see where they came from (which, I have a problem with).  She follows them to the field and finds the magic bean crop, which gets her evil wheels spinning.

In other news, Greg and Tamara are plotting something.  They meet at one point where Tamara has the “package” stashed on the outskirts of town.  They briefly discuss Greg’s dad, who still hasn’t been found, and agree to meet later that night to retrieve whatever the “package” is.  Turns out the “package” is stashed in a trailer, and it happens to be Hook, who’s bound and gagged.  So that’s where he’s been.

So now are we going to get a dark Belle and an even darker Mr. Gold?  Regina can just wave a hand and tire tracks will light up and lead her to where she wants to go?  I would think if that’s the case, then she should have been able to use that in episodes past.  And what is up with Tamara?  I know Greg wants his daddy back, but what’s her story?  I had a huge discussion recently on the inconsistencies and continuity issues this show has and now that I’ve had that conversation, the issues are so glaring.  Like the fact that Snow’s heart has a dark spot, but Cora’s heart wasn’t black at all.  Can we just get to the point where we find out that Neal is Peter Pan?